Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Rainy Day Blues

Today is rainy. It has been rainy for the last little while but I have still managed to put in some pond time. Hubby and I attacked the yard yesterday...Okay so he attacked and I put in a couple of really good pot shots. We ended the day with kicking around a ball to each other. We tried inticing the dogs to play but they looked at us like we were nuts. The Chihuahua tried once but decided he didn't like the rules of the game. What was kinda wierd was, Artist and I had been talking sports. The only one I loved to play (and actually could with some half ass skill) was Soccer/Football.

Its been an interesting weekend. Two sets of friends announced their nuptuals and Daughter broke up with her fellow. I was hurting for her, him, and the whole crappy scenerio knowing there wasn't a thing I could do. As she was telling me, I found myself wishing back to when a hug and cookie could help mend a broken heart. (For years my ex disappointed her. To the point of when he told her something she wouldn't believe him.)

But a hug and cookie aren't the bandages her wounded heart needs. She needs a shoulder and an ear to listen but sometimes I know its not me she wants. I think sometimes I am the last person she wants. Understandably if we could rewind back into the past and view certain aspects of the relationship. (Like my behavior and attitudes.) (It must be hard for a kid when the parents grow up after she did) I think the hardest part of mending relationships is the trust factor. I don't care what kind of relationship we are talking, when the trust is gone, the foundation weakens and sometimes it can crumble under the pressure of the load of stress. Sometimes it can be repaired and rebuilt. I'm hoping for that. I've been asking the Creator but I'm not sure their listening. But then I feel selfish, because deep down I feel I don't deserve her forgiveness so I drop the matter, keep floundering along, being thankful for what I have and hope that somewhere along the path things will come together.

Lord I need another pot of coffee. This is going to be one of those days.

1 comment:

Sue J said...

As my hubby pointed out to me recently, 'You can't live their lives for them'. How true. As you probably know yourself, sometimes it's easier to talk to someone outside of things. Hope things are soon looking up for you all.
Hugs Sue :)