I've been staring at the screen for the last 15 minutes trying to assemble some form of thought to write but everything seems very scrambled in my head at the moment. You know, have too many things to do and it all includes heavy lifting or a fight to get it up the stairs and out of the house.
We are in the process of sorting the house out. Its now just the two of us. Border as I mentioned moved out and now its just he and I. I was expecting a huge sense of relief not, "okay, now what?" type of feeling. Hubby and I are rather stressed at the moment which as everyone knows does not help. Its been one battle after another trying to get everything sorted. Do we need this, why do you keep that and the other usual crap that goes with the territory. We need to move the fish in, get the basement cleared out, organize and clean the upstairs bedroom. And let me tell you, we have taken, (Okay Hubby has taken) two full loads to the dump and it looks like there will be another two by the time he is finished.
I did, how ever pick up the first of my Christmas gifts. My idea this year was to find nice but practical gifts and they be as organic or green as possible. Yeah, its a great idea but when you're on a tight budget it makes it even harder. So I figure between Hubby's work place and my work place we might be able to survive it. Next year I think I'll start earlier. Its just hard to wrap my mind around getting ready for Christmas at the moment. But hey the mincemeat is ready for the pie.
The cat and I are having a little battle over his kitty box. I moved it, he ignored the fact. I showed him where it is and he ignored me again after repeating the showing him process. I then bleached and re bleached. I realize he regards me as a mere servant to do his bidding and its going to be a test of wills. Unfortunately, I think his is way stronger than mine but I do have a few tricks up my sleeve.
As for the play, we are approximately one month away from being on stage. Border made the choice of stepping down as Stage Manager by not showing up for a rehearsal. I was really hoping she would not give it up as its about the only thing left in her life that was a positive thing. If she shows tonight I'll give her a reprieve but somehow I don't think she will. So now I have to be on the hunt for a Stage Manager. Yikes, its going to mean a lot of grovelling. Its a good thing I'm a master at it.
To top off my day I have the fun of taking our Airedale into the vets. Do you know how hard it is to try and just take one dog out of the house without a fuss? The neighbours are just going to love the noise when I pull out of the driveway leaving the other four behind. Treats do not work in this case. They know when one gets to go and the others don't. Its okay for Hubby cause then I'm home for the damage control. If its just me, then I'm in for a fight. Maybe I will take all five to the vets and duke it out with them their. Maybe if they see its not always going through the drive through for coffee and dog treats. Okay so I can hope.
Speaking of which, the battle is about to ensue. Lord have mercy on me, cause I'm going to need it.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Post from Hell
Okay so the first thing to do before reading any further is get yourself a nice cuppa tea or coffee. Get a comfy stool to put your feet up on and anything else you might need for this read. Its a tad long as I am going to be rambling quite a bit.
My apologies to those who kept checking in the last couple up months to no updates. Things got a little out of hand in life and it was a matter of taking my fingers out of the pots to ease up the stress levels a little.
Fishpond time was pretty much a dismal failure. July we tried but the mosquitos decided that we were a nice little snack and drove us indoors and as for August, well, lets just say the predictions for the hottest month of the year was a dismal disappointment. Hurricanes have been pulling on the Arctic fronts and drew them down. So while other places were complaining of the heat, we wear pulling on our jackets wondering if Global Warning was a conspiracy. September seems to be okay but now the attentions are on other things.
I am directing a play called "More Fun than Bowling". Its a dark comedy about life and death in a bowling alley. I hate the auditions part. I want to give everybody a part but can't and as there is only five roles to the play, it makes it even harder. I've got strong actors and two of which can carry the play on their shoulders. The best thing is its all takes place on top of a hill so there are no set changes. Trying to turn a stage into a hill may be a bit of a challenge.
I am still dealing with the ramifications of stepping down as treasurer. The present executive board is going nuts trying to sort out all the paperwork I sent in a box. I keep telling them, everything was in the box in the office. I haven't a clue what's been done or who has torn apart what. I did say at one point I was barely keeping my head above water and I did not get any lifeboats or even a floatation device thrown in my direction. So things at the theatre have been a little stressful. I would prefer to hold the rehearsals at a different location but as the group fought for the building, I should stick to the venue.
Work has been fun. I am now down to one day a week as my headaches have been wreaking havoc on both the schedual and my body. I was going to resign but asked if I could be dropped to one day a week. I do have fun there. Its a good thing Crazy Cosmetic Lady and I work opposite shifts. The hour and half we do work together ends up as one long comedy routine between the two of us batering back and forth. Any longer than that and we would end up in giggling fits and that would not be productive.
There is also a couple of young girls there that I love to work with. Both are really sweet and are a lot of fun to work with. I would never want to work days. Too many bosses and with my attitude, I would be in a lot of trouble for it on a daily basis. The whole reason why I did not want to quit completely is because I have fun who I work with and the customers. I can't complain, I've been hit on by younger men and asked out about three times. Needless to say the Ego is very well stroked.
Daughter is still getting over the shock of being engaged. Daught, has a problem with projecting into the future but then so do I. Sometimes she is like me and knows what she wants but getting there is the hard part. Other times life gets in the way and plans have to change. She has gotten over the deer in head lights look. I think in some ways she is still looking for her own identity and I worry that she thinks being engaged or married means she will lose any identity she feels she has.
You see my family is full of larger than life personalities. All are strong individuals that seem to think their way at times is the only way. Daught, who has always been the quiet one, the good one and the sweet one feels she has been tucked away by the rest. But then she is not around when I am telling stories of her running around with underwear on her head as Butt Woman and her sidekick, Flatulence the Beagle also in undergarments, saving the world from evil. Somehow she would not be too pleased if she knew I wrote this. This is my whole point, the stuff she did as a kid was funny as hell, but she is almost embarrassed by the stories so in respect to her, I don't tell many people.
Its a good thing her Fiance is as sweet as she is. Fiance is the male counterpart for my daughter. He is just as sweet and quiet as she is, he is a hard worker and a very responsible young man. He is a man that knows what he wants and he is willing to wait for it to a point. He is certainly no slouch when it comes to intelligence and he is not a push over but when it comes to Daught, he will move mountains for her. He looks at her, the way I want a young man in my daughter's life to look at her. You know the type of look, its not worship or gratitude, its much sweeter and softer.
He is a Nascar nut. And I do mean nut. He drives a huge diesel four by four and will step out of it wearing bright red sandals, (yes with socks) with the number eight in black on them. Now I know I will never be the mother in law of his dreams cause I haven't a clue who is what in racing and let's not tell him I really don't care. What was cute was, Daught getting out of the truck in a bright pink racing cap, with Nascar on it. I think every man needs an obsession. My father's was Football. At least racing is easy to understand. Cars go around the track and the first one finished wins. In football there are two teams that beat each other up and fight over a funny shaped ball that doesn't even bounce. Then there is all the stupid rules, kick offs, stand offs and and lines on the field that indicate something of importance. Don't even get me going on how annoying the announcers are on the television. (Not that we have that problem as we have a Tv just not hooked up to any channels)
I don't know if Artist, or Scribble experience this but the other reason why I have not been blogging lately is the fact I have been hammering out my next story because if I don't my brain is going to explode. One of the character's is developing his own story in the back of my head so I will be hammering a sequel to the one I am presently embroiled in. Another character is demanding attention as well so she might develope into a story after that. Of course there is also two other stories that my head has been floating to and thinking about. Once I get stuff out on the screen the void in my head seems to fill as fast as it empties. I can feel other stuff brewing too.
I have one in my head that I am working on by hand because I find the flow of writing by hand sometimes helps with the thought process. But this one I know will challenge me not just by the story line but deeper emotional issues that have arisen. The thing is they are not bad but rather an acknowledgement of something that I really am not ready to admit yet. So there it sits twisting around in my head like a vortex that can't quit settle into a rhythym.
Border is moving out at the end of the month. I can't sit by and watch someone self-destruct under my roof and not say something. Just doesn't work for me. She has hooked up with some guy who was fired from his job where she works, who has never been seen sober, cheats on her and most likely sells drugs for an income because he is too lazy to do anything else. She made the mistake of bragging to me how he pays for everything without a job. Yeah, like I'm stupid. So either he was gone or she was gone.
There comes a point in a person's life when beating your head against the wall only resulting in the hole getting bigger. (Sometimes it feels really good when you've stopped too) Hubby and I want our house back to ourselves. The Guinea Pig will be staying with us permently. For one Hubby and I could not live with ourselves for letting her go and something happening to her, the second reason is, Border mentioned several times of us looking after her after Border left. So Molly the Guinea Pig is now an official member of the household. I do adore the little rat. She has tons of personality.
Hubby and I recently made a trip north to see his father who is ill and the newest edition to the family, our second grandchild. I'm not a baby person. I like 'em when they have personality that I can warp. Its fun but as babies they really don't do a whole lot. It was a great trip. We arrived to see our son who was held in the drunk tank and his wife not knowing what was going on. So we continued on to see Hubby's parents.
It was a wierd trip. Both Hubby and I felt it. I wish I could explain but its hard. As we were heading North, the song Rolling Home by Rednex came over the speakers. The video of the song is the great white north and where we used to live, could look like a christmas card after a snowfall. Hubby switched the song. I noticed he was choked up a little but I didn't say anything. For him I knew it was more than returning home, it was also in some ways saying goodbye. For me I was revisiting and realizing that much of how I had felt towards the place was not all bad.
I am product of the North. I was born in a Northern city that as per the usual was transient and tougher than Hubs of Hell. I grew up in the North, married and raised a child there. The North provided for me with jobs both growing up for my father and then later on for me. I would not have made the money I did if I had lived else where. I would not have met the man I absolutely adore anywhere else.
My husband is not is mother's favourite. This is a well known fact through the family. Personally I think my Hubby is the pick but then I might be a little biased. I told Hubby's mother at one point through out the visit that she should be proud of her son. I told her he was an amazing husband which he is. He does have the DNA of the stupid male qualities of his male lineage but he has along with me worked out some of the major kinks. Its been quiet a ride but now I really like the fact we are coasting along together and not in separate lanes on opposite sides. I told his mother that we had to teach ourselves how to communicate with each other. The fact that my Hubby was willing to, in order to put ourselves in a better place amazes me.
What amazed me more was the way my Hubby talked to his mother. His family is not the most respectful to each other because they are unaware of their tones with each other. Impatient, snappy and snarky are some of the words I would use to describe their tones especially towards their mother. (I told Hubby once his tone with his mother was disrespectful and nasty) They never thought about it. Hubby and I did the same until we realized it was not working and changed our approach and temperment. Hubby never once through the visit used his old tones with her. As a matter of fact, I noticed some of the way she responded softened as well. It was really cool to see that.
I wished that Artist could have come along. The area was in its glory as usual for the three weeks of fall. Then the snow hits and doesn't leave for ten months. I didn't like the fact that the snow capped mountains were looking fuller than usual. I figure they are in for a hard winter, which means it may be coming our way too. I just can't think that far ahead.
I mentioned to Artist that I wanted a zucchini. I like loaves and cakes that the squash makes. Lest I ask, for she delivered. I have a zucchini that could batter down the castle gates without so much as putting a scratch on it. This thing is massive. The nice thing about Artist is she doesn't outwardly laugh at you. She giggles at you while reminding you of your words. Yes, I had mentioned I wanted a large zucchini because the ones in the store and farmer's market weren't quite large enough for what I wanted to do. I was not expecting however, a squash the length of my arm and the thickness of a tree trunk. (Okay so its only five inches but still a tree can have a trunk that size.) I swear she giggled all the way home with the zucchini strapped on the roof of her car cause it wouldn't fit in the seat belt.
So, I've been looking up zucchini recipes. I keep overing some to my mother but she smiles at me and refuses having been in the dillema herself. I think my mother thinks I'm a little of for getting rid of the microwave, dishwasher and dryer. They all cost us money. I can hang clothes and towels to dry, do dishes by hand and reheat in the toaster oven if need be. I'm preparing for our old and frugal years. By then I plan on being a fianancial burden on my daughter. It should be some good times.
My apologies to those who kept checking in the last couple up months to no updates. Things got a little out of hand in life and it was a matter of taking my fingers out of the pots to ease up the stress levels a little.
Fishpond time was pretty much a dismal failure. July we tried but the mosquitos decided that we were a nice little snack and drove us indoors and as for August, well, lets just say the predictions for the hottest month of the year was a dismal disappointment. Hurricanes have been pulling on the Arctic fronts and drew them down. So while other places were complaining of the heat, we wear pulling on our jackets wondering if Global Warning was a conspiracy. September seems to be okay but now the attentions are on other things.
I am directing a play called "More Fun than Bowling". Its a dark comedy about life and death in a bowling alley. I hate the auditions part. I want to give everybody a part but can't and as there is only five roles to the play, it makes it even harder. I've got strong actors and two of which can carry the play on their shoulders. The best thing is its all takes place on top of a hill so there are no set changes. Trying to turn a stage into a hill may be a bit of a challenge.
I am still dealing with the ramifications of stepping down as treasurer. The present executive board is going nuts trying to sort out all the paperwork I sent in a box. I keep telling them, everything was in the box in the office. I haven't a clue what's been done or who has torn apart what. I did say at one point I was barely keeping my head above water and I did not get any lifeboats or even a floatation device thrown in my direction. So things at the theatre have been a little stressful. I would prefer to hold the rehearsals at a different location but as the group fought for the building, I should stick to the venue.
Work has been fun. I am now down to one day a week as my headaches have been wreaking havoc on both the schedual and my body. I was going to resign but asked if I could be dropped to one day a week. I do have fun there. Its a good thing Crazy Cosmetic Lady and I work opposite shifts. The hour and half we do work together ends up as one long comedy routine between the two of us batering back and forth. Any longer than that and we would end up in giggling fits and that would not be productive.
There is also a couple of young girls there that I love to work with. Both are really sweet and are a lot of fun to work with. I would never want to work days. Too many bosses and with my attitude, I would be in a lot of trouble for it on a daily basis. The whole reason why I did not want to quit completely is because I have fun who I work with and the customers. I can't complain, I've been hit on by younger men and asked out about three times. Needless to say the Ego is very well stroked.
Daughter is still getting over the shock of being engaged. Daught, has a problem with projecting into the future but then so do I. Sometimes she is like me and knows what she wants but getting there is the hard part. Other times life gets in the way and plans have to change. She has gotten over the deer in head lights look. I think in some ways she is still looking for her own identity and I worry that she thinks being engaged or married means she will lose any identity she feels she has.
You see my family is full of larger than life personalities. All are strong individuals that seem to think their way at times is the only way. Daught, who has always been the quiet one, the good one and the sweet one feels she has been tucked away by the rest. But then she is not around when I am telling stories of her running around with underwear on her head as Butt Woman and her sidekick, Flatulence the Beagle also in undergarments, saving the world from evil. Somehow she would not be too pleased if she knew I wrote this. This is my whole point, the stuff she did as a kid was funny as hell, but she is almost embarrassed by the stories so in respect to her, I don't tell many people.
Its a good thing her Fiance is as sweet as she is. Fiance is the male counterpart for my daughter. He is just as sweet and quiet as she is, he is a hard worker and a very responsible young man. He is a man that knows what he wants and he is willing to wait for it to a point. He is certainly no slouch when it comes to intelligence and he is not a push over but when it comes to Daught, he will move mountains for her. He looks at her, the way I want a young man in my daughter's life to look at her. You know the type of look, its not worship or gratitude, its much sweeter and softer.
He is a Nascar nut. And I do mean nut. He drives a huge diesel four by four and will step out of it wearing bright red sandals, (yes with socks) with the number eight in black on them. Now I know I will never be the mother in law of his dreams cause I haven't a clue who is what in racing and let's not tell him I really don't care. What was cute was, Daught getting out of the truck in a bright pink racing cap, with Nascar on it. I think every man needs an obsession. My father's was Football. At least racing is easy to understand. Cars go around the track and the first one finished wins. In football there are two teams that beat each other up and fight over a funny shaped ball that doesn't even bounce. Then there is all the stupid rules, kick offs, stand offs and and lines on the field that indicate something of importance. Don't even get me going on how annoying the announcers are on the television. (Not that we have that problem as we have a Tv just not hooked up to any channels)
I don't know if Artist, or Scribble experience this but the other reason why I have not been blogging lately is the fact I have been hammering out my next story because if I don't my brain is going to explode. One of the character's is developing his own story in the back of my head so I will be hammering a sequel to the one I am presently embroiled in. Another character is demanding attention as well so she might develope into a story after that. Of course there is also two other stories that my head has been floating to and thinking about. Once I get stuff out on the screen the void in my head seems to fill as fast as it empties. I can feel other stuff brewing too.
I have one in my head that I am working on by hand because I find the flow of writing by hand sometimes helps with the thought process. But this one I know will challenge me not just by the story line but deeper emotional issues that have arisen. The thing is they are not bad but rather an acknowledgement of something that I really am not ready to admit yet. So there it sits twisting around in my head like a vortex that can't quit settle into a rhythym.
Border is moving out at the end of the month. I can't sit by and watch someone self-destruct under my roof and not say something. Just doesn't work for me. She has hooked up with some guy who was fired from his job where she works, who has never been seen sober, cheats on her and most likely sells drugs for an income because he is too lazy to do anything else. She made the mistake of bragging to me how he pays for everything without a job. Yeah, like I'm stupid. So either he was gone or she was gone.
There comes a point in a person's life when beating your head against the wall only resulting in the hole getting bigger. (Sometimes it feels really good when you've stopped too) Hubby and I want our house back to ourselves. The Guinea Pig will be staying with us permently. For one Hubby and I could not live with ourselves for letting her go and something happening to her, the second reason is, Border mentioned several times of us looking after her after Border left. So Molly the Guinea Pig is now an official member of the household. I do adore the little rat. She has tons of personality.
Hubby and I recently made a trip north to see his father who is ill and the newest edition to the family, our second grandchild. I'm not a baby person. I like 'em when they have personality that I can warp. Its fun but as babies they really don't do a whole lot. It was a great trip. We arrived to see our son who was held in the drunk tank and his wife not knowing what was going on. So we continued on to see Hubby's parents.
It was a wierd trip. Both Hubby and I felt it. I wish I could explain but its hard. As we were heading North, the song Rolling Home by Rednex came over the speakers. The video of the song is the great white north and where we used to live, could look like a christmas card after a snowfall. Hubby switched the song. I noticed he was choked up a little but I didn't say anything. For him I knew it was more than returning home, it was also in some ways saying goodbye. For me I was revisiting and realizing that much of how I had felt towards the place was not all bad.
I am product of the North. I was born in a Northern city that as per the usual was transient and tougher than Hubs of Hell. I grew up in the North, married and raised a child there. The North provided for me with jobs both growing up for my father and then later on for me. I would not have made the money I did if I had lived else where. I would not have met the man I absolutely adore anywhere else.
My husband is not is mother's favourite. This is a well known fact through the family. Personally I think my Hubby is the pick but then I might be a little biased. I told Hubby's mother at one point through out the visit that she should be proud of her son. I told her he was an amazing husband which he is. He does have the DNA of the stupid male qualities of his male lineage but he has along with me worked out some of the major kinks. Its been quiet a ride but now I really like the fact we are coasting along together and not in separate lanes on opposite sides. I told his mother that we had to teach ourselves how to communicate with each other. The fact that my Hubby was willing to, in order to put ourselves in a better place amazes me.
What amazed me more was the way my Hubby talked to his mother. His family is not the most respectful to each other because they are unaware of their tones with each other. Impatient, snappy and snarky are some of the words I would use to describe their tones especially towards their mother. (I told Hubby once his tone with his mother was disrespectful and nasty) They never thought about it. Hubby and I did the same until we realized it was not working and changed our approach and temperment. Hubby never once through the visit used his old tones with her. As a matter of fact, I noticed some of the way she responded softened as well. It was really cool to see that.
I wished that Artist could have come along. The area was in its glory as usual for the three weeks of fall. Then the snow hits and doesn't leave for ten months. I didn't like the fact that the snow capped mountains were looking fuller than usual. I figure they are in for a hard winter, which means it may be coming our way too. I just can't think that far ahead.
I mentioned to Artist that I wanted a zucchini. I like loaves and cakes that the squash makes. Lest I ask, for she delivered. I have a zucchini that could batter down the castle gates without so much as putting a scratch on it. This thing is massive. The nice thing about Artist is she doesn't outwardly laugh at you. She giggles at you while reminding you of your words. Yes, I had mentioned I wanted a large zucchini because the ones in the store and farmer's market weren't quite large enough for what I wanted to do. I was not expecting however, a squash the length of my arm and the thickness of a tree trunk. (Okay so its only five inches but still a tree can have a trunk that size.) I swear she giggled all the way home with the zucchini strapped on the roof of her car cause it wouldn't fit in the seat belt.
So, I've been looking up zucchini recipes. I keep overing some to my mother but she smiles at me and refuses having been in the dillema herself. I think my mother thinks I'm a little of for getting rid of the microwave, dishwasher and dryer. They all cost us money. I can hang clothes and towels to dry, do dishes by hand and reheat in the toaster oven if need be. I'm preparing for our old and frugal years. By then I plan on being a fianancial burden on my daughter. It should be some good times.
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