Okay so we are a little late with the New Year's thing. My bad. Well, to be fair there has been a lot going on lately. And it doesn't seem to be slowing down. Right now I'm in mania so I can keep up...almost, except for the broken toes, they might slow me down a wee bit. Yeah...I tripped and felt three go snap.
It wouldn't be so bad, but I have to wear steel toe boots tonight and that is going to hurt like a son of a b.....you get the picture. I have a job stocking shelves at night for a local retail outlet. Its my escape from the rest of the world and so far (after a week) I like it. Limited exposure to people, no phone calls, no theatre and I work with people in team but on my own. I like the fact that unless there is an emergency, nobody can get to me. If I can avoid the drama and the politics (because the theatre fills that gap in spades)then I will be fine. At least this back pat of a job well done comes with a pay cheque.
The change in routine has been a little hard on the dogs. Buster had a seizure the third night into my first shift. But he seems to be doing fine now. GiGi is a little more cuddly with me and Dudley has adjusted fine. Its helping him bond with Hubby who just adores Dudley. For a man who wasn't keen on Beagles, as one breeder put it to me "he has looked into the eyes of a Beagle and it touched his soul." The comment made me wonder what kind of a breed these dogs were. With three underfoot, I have since found out.
Hubby and I are still working things out. Much of the root was financial. Hubby had been trying to carry the burden and he was frustrated. But the problem with a root is it has stems that grow and sometimes produce off spring. The root of one problem has been taken care of but it leaves all the off spring to take care of and that is where we are at an impass. There is still a lot of hurt, anger and resentment which makes the trust factor non-existent. After years of erode and decay, its hard to pick a point at where to start the repairs or if we want to. I'm all for a rebuild. Tear it all down and start with the foundations and work up from there.
The hardest thing of all has been dealing with this alone. Trying to put in force the tools that I learned through therapy and applying them to the problems hasn't been easy. It doesn't seem to matter which area in my life, I'm alone. In some areas its the trust factor, in others its the logistics and in others its because everyone else is dealing with their own crap, they really don't need to hear mine. I sometimes miss therapy because it gave me somewhere to go and unload. And there are nights where the journal just doesn't cut it. On the other hand this is what independance is all about.
Now to completely digress. I just need to get this off my chest. Have you ever listened to grocery store talk? I mean the different conversations that go on. I realised after ten years of listening to people I have learned a lot about Albertans. As an outsider I can honestly say they are unique. Any Albertan will tell you they are not particularly prejudice against any one race. Which in essence I agree, its not one race, its all races; all religions; all countries and customs. You pick a country, I'll give you an Albertan response. If you think about it, its much fairer than just one as its aimed at all. And fairly equally might I add. And I will include this also extends to within our own country and the people in the different provinces. Those comments are not repeatable. I really don't want to be sued.
Now the funniest of this is they aren't too fond of Americans. Their okay in small doses but any more than five and you're at a GOP rally. (Actually overheard in the line ahead of me) The irony is, Alberta was built on American families coming from the south to settle and farm Alberta. You can't trust the Germans or the Japanese, the Philippians talk funny and too fast, the Chinese are talking over the world, the Catholics are too liberal and the Babists are too radical. I am amazed that anybody in Alberta gets along outside their own borders. I could go into the comments about the countries they have visited for example, Cuba was too tropical and Hawaii too hot. But it would only serve to show the average IQ of an Albertan is 12.
My great uncle once remarked that "the family looks like the god-damn united nations." showing me a family reunion picture. (I was 13) Marriage into the family brought, a Mexican, Aboriginal, American and I am a little unclear as to where the fourth member was from to make the family look like the United Nations but to me it looked like a normal family. I will not go into the dinner time conversation as family pictures was bad enough. My great uncle was an eye opener for me as a child.
My Grandmother once told me that Prairie Folk were different in their attitudes. She knew alright, she was English and married to the afore mentioned uncle's brother... And that is another story altogether.
