Last thing I remember was the Fringe and wilderness so I guess I have been a little busy lately or I've had too much coffee and it's effecting my memory. Its been a hell of a month or so. My parents went to Hawaii and I lost them, Hubby and I hit a rough spot, Daughter has a new boyfriend, one of the dogs has injured himself and I have come down with a whopper of a cold. These are just the highlights of the saga. Soap Opera's can be a little dull compared to somedays around here.
I did find my parents. The information I had for my parents return was sketchy at best. I had flight times and that is it. So after four hours of what I thought was their return flight I began to get really worried. When the airport and airlines could not help me due to the privacy act I really panicked. My mom's painter suggested I call the hotel. Wish I had thought of it, but I was in the middle of imagining the worst. The hotel desk put me right through to their room. When my father answered the phone, I had an instant headache from the relief that they were safe but then I was angry because they were safe. Sounds silly but that's how I felt. My first words to my father were "What the hell are you doing in Honolulu?" To which my father sounded a little surprised, then I said, "Aren't you supposed to be on a flight home?" My mother had said they would be home Saturday. Actually they were leaving Saturday night to arrive Sunday. My info I had received was they would be home on Saturday. Hence the slight panic when they weren't home. They had a good time and I was just relieved they were safe and sound. I'm still debating if the headache was worth it.
Daughter's new boyfriend is somebody she has known since high school. He is nice, intelligent, loves the gran-puppy, thinks the gran-kitty is adorable, has a good sense of humour and has some ambition. Daughter is enjoying the fact that the relationship is based on a friendship rather than...well lets just leave it at that. I already warned him that (before they decided to date) the next guy Daughter brought through the door was going to have to face the Mommy from Hell. I warned my daughter that if these guys still want to date her after meeting me, then they will be worth it. I explained that maybe if I hadn't bit my tongue like I did with the last one that maybe some of the problems would have been exposed sooner. (Like the mommy apron string issue) At least this one has been around and she knows him a little better than some of the others. Personally I liked the sounds of the one in Switzerland. He sounded nice...and was far away.
I wonder why they call it a cold. Is it because when you are sick, you are cold ninety percent of the time? I'm ready for another nap. It didn't help that I was coming down with this when I had to cook Thanksgiving dinner. This of course threw all my tasting right off. The salad was a little too mustardy and the potatoes were a little too garlicy but other than that it was good. The pies were really tasty according to everybody else. I have no idea. All I wanted to do was sleep.
I have mixed pickles ready, sourkraut fermenting (With the scar to prove its all hand done), dill pickles dilling, cherry syrup waiting for pancakes, zucchini relish on the shelf and hopefully I will be adding zucchini marmalade (its better than regular) to the mix. I've been knitting up a storm in preparation for Christmas. Hubby and I are going back to basics for gifts this year. Baskets of homemade goodies...God I can feel the cringes already. My problem is, I've gone to so much work and planning that its beginning to feel inadequate compared to the things my sisters give. I'm worried that mine will look and seem cheap compared to the rest.
This feeling of inadequacy has been around for a bit. I just keep pushing forward in the hopes it will eventually go away. But this cloud seems to hang over me, no matter in what I am doing. Especially with the play. It seems to be worse at rehearsals. The cast we have is incrediably strong and the calibre of acting has raised the notch yet again with our group. I don't want to disappoint the director, not because she is a friend but because she has a vision of what she wants on stage. Having been the one with the vision before, I can respect what she is going through. I want to deliver with all my heart and it has nothing do with the fact that she gave me a meaty role (and I did ask for a challenge). In my mind its because I have Artist and another friend who have walked the nightmare of losing a child. What my character goes through is gentler path of the nightmare. They saw and felt the worst. I can not pretend even through my role to know what that is like and I won't. The only thing I can do is pull from the emotions of the words in the script and hope to God it comes out right for them.
Well, I think I'm going to for a nap now. This cold thing really sucks, especially the way it makes my joints friggin ache. I could handle one or the other but not both at the same time. Oh well. I promise to be more up beat with the next post.
