Dear Randy

It's coming up to a year now Randy. The impact of your life hasn't left us, nor has the pain of losing you. It has become my husband's mistress. I know that Time is only an idea of Man, and that you are only a heartbeat away from the rest of us. It is the hidden doors of dimensions that keep us parted from you. Death is always hardest on the living as we tend to hold on.

Things are different down here now. Some of us have tried to move on and accept that which we cannot change. Some of us have found comfort in each other's arms as the link to you but there are the ones left behind like your brother who carries the pain deep and close. I was very angry at you for taking a part of my husband with you that can never be returned. But the anger has subsided with the knowledge that life is circle, it always continues. We see it in the faces of your nieces and nephews. We hear it in their laughter and the in cries of the newborn. The next genreation will know about their Great Uncle.

Trying to make sense of it all has been very difficult. There has been no words of reason and the question why we put this in the blueprints of our lives has only made things harder...

But somewhere between sun up and sun down I have realized we aren't supposed to make sense of your death. It was just part of your's and our's blueprint. And I realize that we are far from your thoughts as you have moved on into a world that we hope to join someday. You no longer feel aches, pain, saddness or even anger. You are getting ready, planning some future life in which we will all share with you again as we have in the past. You just beat us to the Hall of Records. Its our blueprints that hold us here to finish what we started.

Do me favour old friend, whisper to me the words to make this better for your brother. You know I listen to the wind. It carries the voices from afar. And should you chose to be silent, I understand, but I shall always be listening just in case.

This Hallow's Eve, I shall be lighting a candle in your name. Look for it if you can. We miss you. We love you. And maybe...just maybe...instead of the wind, we can meet in the dream state and have a conversation. You know my door is always open to you and there will always be a cup of coffee waiting at my table for you.