1955's Good Wife Guide

My older sister gave this photocopy of an article from Housekeeping Monthly May 13th 1955. My initial reaction was OMG women actually believed this crap. There is 16 hints in this thing starting with having dinner ready as it is part of a warm welcome to show you have been thinking of him. I will give some examples

"Be a little gay and more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it."

Then a couple of hints as to picking up and dusting before the husband arrives. My favourite which is too long to type is on preparing the children and minimizing noise.

"Be happy to see him"

"Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him"

"Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours"

Lets see, Little Jimmy just murdered his football coach for benching him is not as important as Honey, I had such a time with that paper clip. (Remember folks he has a boring job) How about Honey we were robbed or do we just let the poor guy walk in while talking about his day at the office and see if he notices the doileys are sitting on the floor.

Another favourite -"Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count it as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day."

Okay here is a slightly demented view. Did women really believe this? In this day and time, for everytime Husband did this, I'd have a new shiny rock hanging from my body somewhere. So the house goes into repo. He'd eventually learn and I'd would never have said a word.

Another little hint about taking off his shoes while talking in relaxing tones. Hubby would freak if I ever did such a thing. He would be looking for my flask or pill bottle.

The next two are the kickers (and worth the length of typing)

"Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness." (and the kicker to this one) "You have no right to question him." (Pulleeeze. Only if I was married to a made guy)

And the icing on the cake, "A good wife always knows her place."

I know this was written by a man. It had to be. Who else could come up with this crap. And if it was a woman, I want to know what she was smoking? Wouldn't you love to go back in time and walk up to this person, show them the article and ask "What the frig you were thinking?" Then just haul back and slap them.

Here's my Guide for the Good Hubby

* Must have an income that can support his wife's weekly visit to the day spa or must have the potential to earn such figure.

*Listen to your wife with your feminine side. Understand her emotions are not the result of that time of month or the change of life but that they from the fact you yet again left your dirty underwear on the bedroom floor and the dog decided they were a good chew toy in front of the minister (or priest/rabbi/head mistress of the Thoth temple).

*Prepare yourself, brush your teeth before having sex. Its the little things that will turn your wife on, like hygiene.

*Don't ask questions about her actions or question her judgment or integrity. Remember as the husband it is your duty to stay in the dark about things to do with money spent, household redecorations or the children.

*Be happy when she discovers a sale. She is saving you money.

*Take an interest in her conversations as she is discussing world peace, organic cooking or the Prime Directive no matter how many times the topic comes up after a bottle of wine.

*Clear away all computer wires, cords and god know what cable for whatever electronic. Finish all household renovations to the last inch. It makes cleaning an easier job and doesn't make your wife as irritable.

*Don't pout when your wife is too tired to have sex or complain she is never at home. It is unbecoming in a husband. Instead tend to her needs and try to understand her worries and stresses. She needs to relax and unwind.

*A good Hubby always knows he is wrong.